An email from a friend that I thought was worth sharing

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.... This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.THEN EVERY YEAR THEREAFTER It'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS. The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France ...In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China . I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Bimmers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York. A special note to our neighbors: Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not ticking us off for a change.Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment.I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put them? Yep, border security.Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.' Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America .It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1,A final thought. Thank you guys.We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.God bless America ...Thank you and good night.'

If you can read this in English,Thank a soldier!

Back to Neutral

Life is busy. I don't think it matters who you are or what you do. I think we all live to the fullest extent of our means. In both time and money. I am so busy and I overschedule myself regularly. It seems I'm never in one place for very long and am so good at multi-tasking I may have lost some of my ability to focus on one thing at a time. (adult-onset ADD much?) I have to consciously decide to turn off my computer and put my phone, iPad, iPod, etc., etc., etc., away to sit down and enjoy a movie. Really Kristen? You have to take care of a bunch of "important" stuff to check out for an hour and a half? Right. Because the world might end of you don't answer your phone or an email for 90 minutes!
**Enter reality check** My reality checks happen when I've been going, going, going and don't slow down enough, or stop to smell the roses, or even sit down at the dinner table to eat! This time, not unusually, my reality check came as a cold. I need to reboot. Get back to neutral. In more ways than one. I rarely get sick. But, when I do, I make myself slow down (not that I have a choice) but I make myself slow my brain down and think and reflect. Although I appreciate and love my life I think I sometimes don't take full advantage of all it really is because I am too busy and moving too fast to notice everything. Unless I feel as though I'm on my death bed I actually don't mind being sick. It forces me to recharge. "After all, if you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything." (Luckily, I still manage to amuse myself! HA!)
So, I'm sitting here on my sofa, not feeling all that great, Rich is out of town and I'm feeling a bit...reflective?....sentimental?...open to the universe? Hard to put into words but when I feel this way I want a good, not too heavy, not too light, puts a perspective on life, guaranteed to make me cry movie. You know the feeling, right? So, I put in Tuesdays with Morrie. I read the book years ago and remember absolutely adoring it! If you haven't read or seen it...DO! I laughed, I cried, blah blah blah...whatever. My favorite part (today, because next time I watch it I will most definitely have a new favorite part) was when Mitch asks Morrie, "If you were given 24 hours of perfect health to do whatever you wanted, what would you do?" Morrie goes on to describe his "perfect day." It was simple, surrounded by those he loves the most with good food, walks in the park, conversations on how they felt about each other and dancing the night away. So simple. So completely perfect. A day like that would bring anyone back to neutral.

Celebrity - Noun vs. Verb?

For some reason I started thinking about how obsessed society is with celebrities. Well, celebrity in general, actually. Anyone will do anything to get 15 minutes of fame. I was watching The Doctors" today for about 5 minutes before I had to change the channel because it was about people who harm themselves while being filmed in order to post videos on YouTube. One guy wrapped his foot in plastic wrap, covered it in cooking spray and lit it on fire! I ask this often and have yet to figure out the answer, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?? But, back to celebrities. I was thinking that I have a list of celebrities that I tend to be fascinated with! It's weird, but I am so curious as to what they think and do n a regular basis. I know, I am feeding into the whole reality show, fame, Hollywood bullshit but I am really so interested in these peoples' daily lives! If they have a reality show already, you can bet I watch it and if they got one, I would be all in! Here they are, in no particular order: Kathy Griffin, RuPaul, Britney Spears (as a mom), Jennifer Aniston, Bret Michaels, Steven Tyler, The Jolie-Pitt Family (not individually mind you, the WHOLE family) and Kat VonD. Those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. Then there are the celebrities (or people that get their names in the tabloids regularly) that I would love to never hear another word about again! The people that can just go away are: Lindsay Lohan, Kate Gosslin, Octo-Mom, any of the people from The Hills, Tori Spelling, Michelle Obama, Kanye West and Mariah Carey. The last two, especially! UGH!!! Don't get me wrong, I am just as obsessed as the rest of society but, like most people, I feel like I have a healthy grasp on what is "normal".....HAHA! Probably not but, oh well!